i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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