i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
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know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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