found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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