Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
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Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Success! We fucked roommates!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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