I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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