I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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