I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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