Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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