Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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