Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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