i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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