I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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