Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
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I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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