This is not my ceiling
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize