Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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