He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize