Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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