I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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