so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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