She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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