I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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