I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize