this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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