i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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