Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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