john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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