I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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