So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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