I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
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Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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