Im at strip club and am horny
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize