I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
