hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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