Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize