my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
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Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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