When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize