and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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