Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize