I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize