My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
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This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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