bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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