She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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