I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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