I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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