So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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