I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize