yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize