Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So squirting runs in the family.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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