There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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