You made me cry and you don't even care
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize