I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize